Primarily, I bore people. I think this is what the nurse meant when she said, "it's subtle, but it shows when we spend some time talking to you." I can't banter when someone starts to talk smack, make fun of me, the feeling that there is just too much going on takes over, and I'm silent.
I'd like to think that this whole phenomena is tied to assertiveness, a "confidence game," as it were, but I can't be sure. I'll buy the "confidence game" as regards any type of writing. I suspect that actual, in-the-flesh encounters are different, though. Right now, I think, for me, the issue seems to be aught up in the balance of intellectual, creative and physical work, and the way that I never seem to be boreable (irritable, but not borable). I get recognition for the latter in my current living situation.
Secondarily, there's my bourgeois shitfaced-ness. Some people hate it.
3 years ago